exit

my senses
died
in a toy-church
when I was young
and still unknowing
lovable
but didn't know
what love was

I dreamt of wars
beyond the level of my eyes
raging through the brain hills
and no one was ever winning
it only ended with sweat
and my eyes wide-shut
and my mouth wide-open
filled with fear spilling over
like bread-crumbs
crumbling mountains
crippled limbs
floating serenly
through the endless vacuum

I knew this wasn't me
even though in my dreams
I kept getting lost
in unlit supermarkets
with empty racks that cried
in half-starved hospitals
where all the beds were waiting
for me
but I was just running away
trying so hard not to be seen
just looking for a hole
to shit and piss into
without being seen

and I never dared to look up
to see if somebody else
is opening up the door for me
to pass through
so I escaped
through the crack
in my throat
the voice was tiny
but screaming like a boiling kettle
in panic
the impeccable mother approaching with an impeccable baby
perfect but braindead
walking towards me like in a lynchian movie
but all the light-bulbs died
saving me from the horror

I was spilled to the ground
still trying to find the form to take
but each day I'm sure more and more
that I will find
the exit.



Listen to Exit on SoundCloud.