Séamus (as it happened in a dream, 2012)

They intercepted me in a forest outside Corkey, Co. Antrim, one afternoon, with torches, one by one, although I was doing nothing other than minding my own business. She was the first to emerge, Fiona. A white dress, male-short black hair, a fist of redness on her cheeks, acute anger. She said she was looking for James and she asked me where he was, as it obviously was expected of me to know that. Then the others appeared as well. Delicate pasts, three sisters, two brothers. Michael was the eldest, a twenty-year-old. Freshly out of prison. Then Moyra, Daniel and Brigid, there it was again, the same incurable cobweb of darkness. When they turned their backs on me for a minute, on a leaf-covered slope, there weren’t a lot of trees in that spot and the sun suddenly shone more brightly, unveiling an ash-haired boy, with a slightly dirty face and a torn black jacket, and the eyes as ancient and as hard as Knocklayde. He just looked at me, then disappeared. I knew I should keep my mouth shut. In the town outside, a wooden box to be put in the ground was already underway. The people around were buzzing like tangled bees. They were angry with me. As if I’m the one who had lost James. They didn’t understand that it wasn’t him anymore for whom a cow should be taken to the shore to have her blood drawn. I started crying, but not out of sorrow.
(English translation, July 2020)


                                                                                   An Encounter, July 2020

Luna

Lay still, my child, go back to sleep
Raise your head and I’ll push you down, don’t weep
Don’t toss and turn, even if the bed should burn
Don’t dream, for dreams induce hope
Hope breeds a desire to wake up and go
But most of all - don’t grow
Remain as feeble and frail as can be
Somebody may love you someday, but today it’s not me.

Wake up, my child, open your eyes
You’ve been sleeping for far too long
Why are you walking away, are you shy?
Have I made you sad? Have I done you wrong?
How can you sleep so deep and not dream at my command?
How can you be so small so as to fit on the palm of my hand?
I tell myself I’ll feed you, yet days after I find you dead
I could tell you I love you, but it’s just my guilt talking instead.

Grow, my child, flourish, giggle and smile
Give love, be loved, dream with your eyes open wide
Soak up the world’s wonders, let songs in, let tears out
And gently I’ll lead and feed you seeds for you to sprout.
You’re already as big as a mountain, you’ll outgrow my belly soon
My womb’s too small for you, you ’re reaching for the moon
I give birth to you, arise from the blood-bedding, free to fly
And be sure that nobody can love you better than I.






































"Blade Runner 2049 - St Rachel" by Lucy Færy
Image taken from http://lucyfaery.com/homages


Home

What a hole is to a mole
Is a field to a foal
But in the hole the foal would die
And the sun-washed field hurts the mole's eyes.

What a shell is to a pearl
Is a tree branch to a bird
But in the shell the bird would smother
And the branch can't be the pearl's mother.

What a palace is to a duke
Is the ether to a spook
But the palace to the spook is a cage
And in the ether the duke can't engage.

The breast is the heart's nest
The skull is the mind's hull
But the heart keeps so many mysteries bold
More than the mind ever could fathom and hold.






































Image taken from http://www.alchemywebsite.com/bookshop/herm_studies8.html

The King is Dead

The King is dead
Long live the King!
We've cut off his head
Torn out his limbs!
Plucked out his eyes
That finally he may see
So when he should cry
He'll cry inwardly.

We tore out his arms
That finally he may touch
Riches 'yond earthly charms
He once cared for too much.
We hacked off his legs
That finally he may walk
Put them on the pegs
Of the cosmic beanstalk.

We smashed his throat, burned his tongue
That finally he may converse
With the dead, from where they're hung
For his whims, devoid of a hearse.
We took out his heart
That finally he may love
We took it apart
And gave it to doves.

And in the end we chopped off his head
His body bled and bled
Fed the rivers with blood so well
But no tear for him was shed
He now is free, for we gave him wings
His flesh is now the earth's bread
(So sing:) The King is dead!
(So sing:) Long live the King!







































the word

this
this is the word
this is the word
the word
the word.
this is the word.
this.
this is the word.
this.
this is
this is
the word.
this is the word.
could've been better
could've been better
could have been better
but in the beginning there was
the word
'cause in the beginning
there was the word
could've been better but
in the beginning there was the word.

this is the word.
this is the word. the word.
this is the word the word the word.
could've been better but
in the beginning there was the word.
this is the word
this is the word.
could've been better but in the beginning
there was the word
and the word it it sounded like

this is the word
the word this is the word
could've been better but in the beginning there was the word.
this is the word the word the word the word could've been better but in the beginning there was the word
this is the word.
could've been better but
in the beginning there was the word
and it sounded like



Listen to the The word on SoundCloud.


Milk from a stone

Sequine curtains
Deepwater moan
Blood from a cheek
Milk from a stone

Stir until it screams
Sinks into your dreams
Dries the roots
Drinks the fears

Throw me in the water
Chuck me in the ink
I will swim
My anvils will sink

Cut me open
When I'm all alone
Instead of red
You'll see a tone

What I long for
Doesn't have a name
Cold as a spectre
Warm as shame

So I look through the dark
To see what I've sown
From spark within a spark
A door has grown 

exit

my senses
died
in a toy-church
when I was young
and still unknowing
lovable
but didn't know
what love was

I dreamt of wars
beyond the level of my eyes
raging through the brain hills
and no one was ever winning
it only ended with sweat
and my eyes wide-shut
and my mouth wide-open
filled with fear spilling over
like bread-crumbs
crumbling mountains
crippled limbs
floating serenly
through the endless vacuum

I knew this wasn't me
even though in my dreams
I kept getting lost
in unlit supermarkets
with empty racks that cried
in half-starved hospitals
where all the beds were waiting
for me
but I was just running away
trying so hard not to be seen
just looking for a hole
to shit and piss into
without being seen

and I never dared to look up
to see if somebody else
is opening up the door for me
to pass through
so I escaped
through the crack
in my throat
the voice was tiny
but screaming like a boiling kettle
in panic
the impeccable mother approaching with an impeccable baby
perfect but braindead
walking towards me like in a lynchian movie
but all the light-bulbs died
saving me from the horror

I was spilled to the ground
still trying to find the form to take
but each day I'm sure more and more
that I will find
the exit.



Listen to Exit on SoundCloud.